


Jaded Angels, Blessed Demons

by didyousaygay



Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:47:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29865231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/didyousaygay/pseuds/didyousaygay
Summary: Two souls' lonely quest for the true meaning of happiness changes its course when they meet each other.
Relationships: Stellvester "Stell" Ajero/John Paulo Nase | Pablo
Kudos: 14





	1. colour splash

  
The university ground's main entrance planted with perfectly lined pine and ginkgo trees sways its branches along the sweltering breeze of the season. Well-trimmed bermuda grass and classic stone benches surrounding the campus is a welcoming sight for students and visitors alike. The organized landscape provides a reinforced sense of ease that what lies beyond the school's century old stone walls are nothing but fond memories of youth and valuable wisdom. The appearance is nothing but impressive. As every prestigious university should be. Mediocrity is non existent.

On the contrary, students have noteworthy stories to tell. If gifted with a button that plays life in fast forward, majority would have already sold their worthless souls in order to gain the leverage. Not that people don't sell their souls for other worthless gains. Human beings are petty creatures.

He is no different. Just like every stressed out student who lives on caffeine and excessive cramming, trapped in the never ending cycle of a ridiculous rat race, he pushes and walks the common grounds like a perpetual zombie. But instead of his usual morning route of passing by the masses' favorite coffee shop near the main building for the daily drug boost before the first class, he alternatively makes his way behind the school grounds' back alley. 

Every school has it, the hidden bowels of society where the derelict and delinquent thrive. The old chemistry building at the far end, where the giant oak tree also lives. Existing side by side in solitude. There are numerous types of rumors going around on why the place was left alone. From a student who committed suicide, a professor who killed his secret lover, to ghosts of World War II soldiers. But he doesn't care, not even a single shred. The real world raised the pessimist in him and he's flourishing.

He sits under the tree, cradling himself between its massive roots. He's not one to skip classes but he found the perfect excuse today and despite the ludicrous stories about this forgotten part of the school, the quiet oak tree provides the solace that he needs. He takes a cigarette out from his backpack, balancing it between his lips while struggling with the cheap lighter that he bought from a convenience store, looking like a complete novice because he is. But he will try to smoke and no one is capable of stopping him.

"That's an evident ground for suspension."

The voice is husky with a high pitched ring but it was manly nonetheless. He turns to his right, to the mossy front yard of the old building where the voice came from and sees the man sitting on top of a discarded lab table facing his way. He'd bet on his life that it is not a ghost because if otherworldly monsters were this attractive, he doesn't mind getting spooked. 

The man's hair was bleached blonde, sporting in an overgrown mullet and the tousled fringes are partly covering his expressive eyes. The plump lips are smirking with amusement and the mole on his upper lip adds to the charisma. He's wearing a white shirt with cut out sleeves all the way to his rib cage, flaunting well toned biceps and his hands are even perfect. Almost perfect, if not for the lit up cigarette between his fingers. There is always a tragic flaw. Always.

"Feel free to report, be my guest." He replies haughtily, removing the unlit cigarette from his lips, avoiding further embarrassment on his part, brushing the strands of his jet black fringes away from his face.

The man stands up and walks to him with confident strides, the ripped form of his black denim jeans reveals a scandalous amount of skin on the upper leg, the Timberland boots is a fashion risk but it was extremely worth it. 

"I always knew that goody-two-shoes image of yours was a farce." The man levels his gaze with a condescending smile, looking into his eyes with nothing but intimidation while taking a puff from his cigarette without breaking eye contact. 

Second hand smoke and clashing egos. The quintessential combination of a memorable first impression. He smirks in return. "Too bad, you feel cheated?" He's a member of the student government, he's used to people recognizing him. But it's the first time someone called his well built image a farce. He likes the challenge.

"The opposite. Who knew Mondays can also be rewarding? I'm Paul." 

"I didn't ask for your name."

"I'm telling you. I'm not asking for permission."

"So, Paul." Emphasizing his name with sarcasm. "What do you want? I assume you're not here for small talk."

"I do things on a whim."

"I don't know you but you seem to know me on a spiritual level." He confronts him with derision. The logical part dictates him to stay away from the man because he senses danger but the rebellious side thrives on the adrenaline rush. The solid tree against his back doesn't serve as a trap, it keeps him rather upright.

"You should burst out of that personal bubble you created, Lester Ajero. There's more to life. That's why you fail to see the people around you."

"Don't call me Lester, you're obviously not my mother." 

"Okay, Less. So the derogatory nickname came before or after the first guy you fell in love with rejected you?"

Those were two straight homeruns in one constructive sentence. But he's not giving him the satisfaction. This man can see through him and yet, he knows nothing about him. He'll just have to play with the bigger fire if he wants to win. "You'll have to work hard and earn it if you want to know the answers, Mr. Stalker."

"Stalker.. hmmm.. I disagree, I'm a higher threat than that." 

"Should I call the police then?"

"Without knowing what it feels like to go against the grain and break the rules? Up to you."

"Do you feel exceptionally fulfilled when you invade people's personal space?"

"No. With you, I feel completely intrigued."

Paul flicks the empty cigarette away and leans closer. His eyes darting from Lester's eyes and lips. There's no doubt in his actions when he cups Lester's face and claims his lips unapologetically. A deep kiss, far from what smitten couples do on their first date. Neither one backs away when their tongues meet. Paul indulgently explores the luscious swells of Lester's soft lips and Lester carnally claims Paul's seducing lips in abandon. They lick and nibble in lustful synchronicity. It was moist, hot and disgustingly sweet. Lester knows the obscene moan is coming from him but as long as Paul continues to sinfully kiss him back, he'll allow himself to be corrupted. 

They break from the kiss for their very much needed air but they linger, lips brushing against each other in tattered breaths. Paul pulls back and sensuously traces his thumb on Lester's lips with a satisfied smile while Lester brazenly licks Paul's thumb in lewd patterns. 

"Don't you dare attempt to smoke again." 

Paul's demeanor turns serious, looking at Lester's eyes fiercely. His hand slides down, grasping Lester's neck in a firm grasp.

"That is not up to you." Lester answers in defiance.

"You taste like strawberries. Please keep it that way, Less."

Paul releases his hold on Lester and stands up. He walks away without looking back and Lester thoughtfully stares at the man who magically turned his black and white world into morbid splashes of grey. Suddenly, Lester doesn't feel secure with how predictable his life has become. 

Lester knows he should stay away from Paul. But Lester felt the unspoken connection. Because he saw the sadness in Paul's eyes that mirrors his own.


	2. river of flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The scariest part is the free fall.

  
Lester throws his pen across the table at Josh with fond annoyance. Josh swats it away with his Bio-Chem book and the defenseless pen flies off and hits the wooden shelf in the corner with a disgraceful clatter. The students from the neighboring table looks at them with contempt but Lester counters with a challenging glare. 

  
"Blonde, mullet, almond eyes, around 5'8 or 5'9, looks like a delinquent, speaks like an arrogant CEO." Lester scribbles a human-like figure in his notebook with a new pen. He can't draw for shit even if his life depended on it and he struggles to draw the sleeveless tee with increasing rage. "It was my first time seeing him but he doesn't look like a freshman."

"Sounds like you're in love." Josh intentionally raises his voice with chagrin, wanting to annoy Lester even more.

"Love is an overly idealized concept of viewing an ordinary person as something precious. It's like a lethal version of morphine in human form and that would only suck, so shut up Josh."

"Your description of love changes along with the season but why does it always relate to substance abuse? You need serious help, you weirdo!"

The increasing number of students throwing them irritated glares is their queue to leave. The library is in a separate building west side from the main entrance. They walk along the wide pavement towards the coffee shop where they usually spend an hour, catching up with lessons while waiting for the next afternoon class. 

The addicting scent of brewed coffee that permanently hovers inside the shop never fails to calm Lester down. The barista gives them a nod and a knowing smile, proceeding to blend their usual order as they make their way to their favorite corner seat near the staff entrance.

"You know very well why love always leaves a bitter taste Josh. My two dads who tried to raise me without prejudice already forgot they have a son. And don't get me started about my biological mom and her irresponsible husband." Lester opens his notebook again and continues his vain efforts to finish his scribbled version of Paul, trying to forget how the memory of the man's lips crushing against his own drives him crazy because that kiss was one potent drug that he detests and craves at the same time. He's starting to become a hypocrite and it enrages him.

"People have their own love stories to tell, Less. You're allowed to be cautious but you should also allow yourself to experience it." Josh knows how stubborn Lester is but he will always try to remind him that the world is not surrounded by heartbreaks and assholes.

"I'm fine this way, thank you." Lester doesn't have the guts to tell Josh yet that for the very first time in his life, someone made him this excited and scared. He can't get Paul out of his mind and it's already been a week. What's more embarrassing is that he's condemning love and calling people who fall in love idiots but what he allowed to happen on that one fateful morning was wrong but sinfully feels right and if only the sentient oak tree could speak, it would call Lester a brainless whore.

"But seriously, I know you're still upset about your dads' divorce but don't go looking for trouble just because you want to lash out your frustrations. You're lucky only Mr. Hot Blonde was there to witness you making a fool out of yourself."

"He's not hot. He's an effin spawn of Satan!"

"Yeah. Right." Josh opens his Bio-Chem book with dismissal. "But you know what's going to be really funny?" He leans over with amusement. "When the spawn of Satan falls in love with you and finds out you are the devil incarnate himself." He chuckles and starts to read the chapter for his next quiz.

Lester tears a page from his notebook, writing neatly in all caps FUCK YOU and places it in front of Josh, covering the book he's reading. Josh gives him the middle finger.

The server, Annie, a first year student that works part time comes to their table and brings their coffee with a nervous smile. "One cafe americano, Sir Less."

"Thanks Annie, you're awesome as usual." Lester smiles and enjoys Annie turn into a blushing disaster in front of him. He swears to himself that he will never allow his emotions to rule over him because love makes a person weak. Paul is a simple glitch in his system and he will move on from him even if the heavens burn and hell freezes over.

**

  
Lester leans back on the chair while he listens to the Student Org President announce the date and agenda for their next meeting. Ken Suson is a masterpiece of his own and Lester continues to observe him closely. He's always been fascinated with the younger man, not in a romantic and definitely not in a lascivious kind of way but the transparent earnestness in Ken is what makes him the perfect president and Lester's calculative, careful and sometimes devious characteristic makes him the suitable vice president. The light always needs a perfect shadow. 

And there are specific moments like this that he is tempted to taint the bright light with his darkness. Human beings love to destroy pure things just for the fun of it. Ken is sick, running with a fever but his sense of responsibility is too praiseworthy for Lester's standards. 

"If there aren't any more questions, let's end it here. Thank you for coming, everyone." Lester stands up and ends the president's noble suffering with tactfulness. He acknowledges Ken's grateful gaze from his peripheral and they patiently wait for the students to leave while they clear the files and laptop from the desk.

"Less, thanks. I owe you one again." Ken slumps on the chair with a tired sigh while rubbing his temples with a miserable groan. 

"You could have cancelled it, a meeting is not worth dying for, dear president."

Ken laughs, straightening himself up the chair and looks at Lester with interest. "You know, you're really something. You act so indifferent about everything but actually, you are quite sensitive to everything around you. You're exactly like--"

"Are we going to talk about that imaginary bestfriend of yours again Ken?" 

"He's not imaginary. He's just going through some.. stuff. That's why we don't hang out lately but I swear he's real!"

"Well if you really think we're alike, that makes me not want to meet him even more. Where's Justin anyway? This is the time for him to be useful. If you're not well, he should come here and bring you home." Lester tries not to flinch at his own words. Not that he's concerned about Justin, Ken's boyfriend. He's not interested in their lovey dovey escapades but if Josh thinks that Lester is the devil incarnate, Justin is angel personified and if Lester does not remove himself from this situation or create his intended havoc before two blessed beings overpower him, he'll turn into ashes. 

"Jah is also sick, I think I got it from him and he really feels bad about it. That's why he can't come."

"Darn right I told you love makes you sick." 

"But my bestfriend is coming to pick me up." Ken answers proudly. "I think Justin harassed him so I don't have to go home by myself."

"Good for you then." Lester does not sugarcoat his unimpressed reply. He leans against the podium, tardily crossing his arms across his chest while he looks out the window. "If he's really a good friend, he's not supposed to make his sick friend wait for him this long." Darkness has already enveloped the skies and Lester tries to tone his cynical thoughts down.

"He also attends clas--"

"Don't start defending my honor to strangers Felip, I don't need it."

  
Lester told himself that he will forget him. Told himself repetitively that it is just a minor glitch in his system. That heavens will go ablaze and hell will turn into a frozen landscape if he does not erase Paul and the memory of his kiss.

But the world remains calm, unmoving and Lester's heart is nothing but restless. 

Paul is leaning against the door's threshold, unsmiling but his fierce stare is directed at Lester. His hair is still overgrown and tousled just like how Lester remembers him from two weeks ago. He's wearing a black bomber jacket and black denim jeans again but this time, Lester is thankful that his pants are not designed ripped but the wretched thing is hugging all the right places, if Lester could mentally curse in Latin, he had already done so. He snaps his gaze back up to Paul's face when he realizes that he's gawking at him shamelessly and Paul's satisfied smirk shreds the last piece of dignity left in Lester. 

Ken instantly notices the eerie tension and clears his throat. "Paul, I'd like you to meet Less. Uhmm, Less.. my bestfriend, Paul." He tries to salvage the situation awkwardly.

Paul walks over to them, glancing sideways at Lester with a hint of irritation. "Not the second meeting I was expecting but yeah, hi." He turns away as if Lester is the most uninteresting thing in the world and goes to Ken. He removes his jacket, drapes it around his bestfriend and gives him a gentle pat in the head. He crouches down to level his gaze and smiles. "This place was hard to find."

Ken rolls his eyes. "Paul, you and I know you have exceptional skills in navigation. Cut with the excuses." He looks over to Lester with apology. "Less, sorry he looks rude and grouchy but Paul's actually a nice guy."

"Not my concern Ken." Lester tries to sound apathetic, he carries his backpack and starts to walk away but Paul is instantly beside him, boldly holding his hand. He looks at Paul with bewilderment because in all honesty, Lester knows that even if this unexpected meeting between them happened differently, it will not be anything special. They're just strangers who happened to be at the same place at the same time but what affects him is how much caring Paul is towards Ken and Lester hates himself for the sudden envy that overcame him. That's why he needs to leave. He needs to forget Paul. He doesn't need Paul to make him feel certain things that he is not willing to submit himself into. "What?!?" He asks him with an enraged sneer.

"You're coming with us. We'll tuck Felip in bed then I'll drive you home." Paul answers calmly, pulling Lester along with him as he walks back to Ken and asks "Are you dizzy? Can you walk? Or you want a piggy back ride?"

Ken looks at the two with an amused smile. "I wanted a piggy back ride but Less might feel sad if you let go of his hand." He feels like shit and he misses his boyfriend so much but this scene unfolding in front of him is also a treat like cake.

Paul turns to Lester, unsmiling. "Baby, I'll carry him to the car then I'll hold your hand again, I promise."

Lester has a lot of things to say but he can't process everything that just happened. It was all too fast, his mind is violently objecting but his stupid heart developed a much more stupid brain of its own. 

"Okay." 

He foolishly replies and he swears his heart did a 360 flip when Paul smiled at him seductively. 

  
Ken's house is an hour drive away from their school and by the time they reached the place, Ken is already sleeping soundly at the back seat. The distance gave Lester enough time to think things through and now that he absorbed everything that has happened in the last hour and a half, all he wants to do is start a new life in another school. Maybe another country, away from his stupid dads, away from his selfish mother, away from Paul and his Ford Mustang that makes him ten times hotter than he already is. But they need to let go of each other's hand first if he wants to start setting things in motion.

The car stops and Paul alights, Lester's hand is finally free. And no, fuck that. He is Less Ajero, nothing goes out of control in his own life unless he allows it. He can now think straight because Paul's hand was terribly distracting. Paul is just a daunting hurdle that he needs to overcome. He can hear Paul trying to wake Ken up from the back seat and this is the perfect time for him to leave, he knows how to go home on his own, he doesn't need Paul or anyone else but a girl suddenly peeks from Lester's side of the window and screeches a high pitched scream. 

"Oh my God! It is my crush! Vice Prez! And Paul's dating him!!"

The girl turns to Paul with scorn. 

"Paul, I hate you! How could you do this?!"

"Kendra, stop scaring Less with your drama queen antics." 

Kendra ignores Paul and looks at Lester with a sad face. "Less, if Paul breaks your heart, I'm here for you, okay." She swiftly leaves and goes back inside the house as fast as she appeared minutes ago. 

"Kendra, you're too loud.." 

Ken groggily wakes up from his sister's screaming and Paul helps him out of the car, shielding his head from hitting the car's door frame with gentleness and Lester just looks back at them from the rear view mirror with conflicting emotions. 

Lester knows he's a sly and selfish person but he's not envious of what other people have. Yet he finds it difficult to stop himself from feeling the gnawing ache in his chest, the forceful craving for Paul's affection. He's slowly falling down the abyss that he's been avoiding for so long and he needs to get a grip. Before he falls down deeper. The dangerous attraction that he feels for Paul needs to stop.

  
"Paul, are you and Less--" 

"No. We're not."

"But you want to."

"People have a lot of things that they want but don't need."

"Paul, you deserve to be happy."

"Everyone deserves to be happy. Go to sleep."

"Then be happy."

"I wish I could, Felip. I wish I could."

Paul closes Ken's bedroom door with a deep sigh. If only happiness can be contained in a jar, he'd keep thousands and he'll share half of it with Lester. Because since he woke up from the nightmare that he's living, there's only one stranger who recognized his sadness as if it's his own. 

But he won't touch it. Because everything that he finds delicate ends up crumbling in his own hands. And Lester is far too precious, Paul will choose to embrace eternal sadness.

The opening of the driver's seat door startles Lester from his clear thoughts until things go haywire again because of Paul's presence beside him. His jacket is missing and he will have to ask later if Paul wears these sleeveless tees for fashion or just to simply torture him. Lester can see a tattoo on his right rib cage. 

"I didn't invite you in because everyone will just cause a ruckus."

"It's fine. As long as you did damage control. I want to go home now."

"I don't know where you live."

"Obviously. My apartment is a few blocks away from school."

"Shit, that close?"

"Yeah. That close."

"Sorry, I should have dropped you off first before coming here."

"I wasn't expecting that."

"What?"

"That you're capable of saying sorry."

"Less, we started off in a.. an odd manner, if.. that's the right word.."

"Very odd."

Paul starts the engine and they make their way back to the university. It took a whole twenty minutes of silence until Lester cannot take it anymore and starts to fidget in his seat. 

"Ask."

"What?"

"You want to ask questions, ask, I'll answer. Damn it Less, stop trying to make this awkward."

"I'm not! I just don't know--"

"You don't know what? You don't know what to ask me? Or you don't know what you want to do?"

"You knew me because of Ken?"

"That's a good start. He won't shut up about you, kept on saying we're the same type, if that makes any sense in Felip's language. I always see you with him, so yeah. That's it."

"How come I don't see you with him?"

"If Felip did not mention your name every fifteen seconds, I wouldn't bother looking at you. But you, on the other hand, never looked. Not until I saw you under that tree and you finally saw me."

"I see."

"Who hurt you Less? What happened for you to become that way?"

"Takes one to know one huh."

Lester looks out the window and realizes that the unspoken connection between them is beyond attraction and lust. If he's carrying unresolved baggage from his past and Paul is the same as him, this relationship is already doomed from the start. He regrets sitting under that tree. He regrets everything that he did on that day because now that he knows Paul, he can't undo it anymore. Wounded dogs lick each other's wounds. Lester hopes he can be more than that to Paul but the abyss is never ending and full of uncertainties. Paul is not a spawn of Satan like what he initially thought. Paul is the grim reaper and Lester is willing to give his worthless soul in exchange of his affection. Lester has been damned the moment he met him.

The car stops in front of the university and Paul lets the engine hum while waiting for Lester to say something. It's already ten in the evening and aside from a few cars and pedestrians passing by, the road is almost empty.

"If you go straight, four blocks from here on the left side, there's an apartment complex with a blue gate. I live on the second floor. Door 3B."

"Less, you're letting me in?" Paul asks, looking straight ahead, his hands gripping on to the stirring wheel tightly.

"Paul, I already did." Lester assures him calmly. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Less.."

"What?"

"Will you let me stay until morning?"

"No. Maybe next time."

"Okay."

"But I'll let you kiss me.. before I leave your car and.. it's okay if you kiss me at my front door, or.. even outside the gates."

"I'll kiss you anywhere you want."

"Just don't leave without telling me, is that okay Paul?"

"Yes. Thank you for seeing me, Lester Ajero."

"You're welcome."

**Author's Note:**

> You know that dark place in your head that refuses to acknowledge the light?! The pitch black void that stares straight into your soul? Yes, it turned into this fic that *fingers crossed* god speed sees the light of day.
> 
> Education and Troye Sivan are responsible for this mess.


End file.
